I guess it should come as no surprise to me that my son Jacob inherited or learned this behaviour from me. And while I think competition is a great thing...the overwhelming 'need' to win can have its pitfalls.
If you've read my Blog in the past - you'll remember that he's an incredible, natural athlete - specifically a baseball player. Since he was very young he could throw and catch. He has that natural smoothness to his play. Coaches are constantly telling me - 'he moves well' referring to his plays at second and shortstop.
For the past season Jacob's been playing on a Tournament baseball team - also known as "Travel Ball". It's a team we put together of the best 10 boys of the local league of 150 kids. I coach the team with another coach whom I've worked with for the past few seasons. They're a good team, and they've faired well in tournaments around Southern California.
This past weekend we had a tournment locally and the first day boys lost the first game and won the second game on Saturday. We returned to play Sunday in a do or die situation and the boys rallied in the last inning from being down by 3 to winning by 3 and everyone was pumped.
We advanced to the final Championship game against a VERY competitive team - a team that routinely wins every tourney they enter. It was tough going and our boys were getting beat pretty bad.
Then it happened...Jacob missed a groundball hit to him. Not the end of the world...certainly not for most players. But he'd made probably 20 incredible plays in the 4 game series and he is not used to missing the ball. He let it get to him. I told him from the bench to let it go.
"Don't let 1 mistake become 2" I coached. Let it go...but he was visibly upset. Another ball came to him - this time he scooped it up like a pro and... threw the ball wide to the second basemen allowing the runners to advance extra bases. He was coming apart at the seams now.
We got the last out of the inning and had our at bat. Jacob came to bat, still with tears in his eyes. I'd tried to reassure him and calm him but it hadn't worked and now he was supposed to focus on hitting. He was rattled and backed out of the box repeatedly and watched - without swinging at 3 strikes. Something he hasn't done before. He walked dejectedly to the dugout. It didn't help he was the 3rd out and we were headed back out to the field.
He was standing on the field sobbing and we had to pull him from the game. He was in danger at that point...obviously unable to focus, protect himself or make a play.
I wondered how it had come to this...he felt so pressured that he couldn't let 1 mistake go. No amount of reassurance seemed to help. Of course everyone and their brother reminded him of all his 'highlight reel' plays - diving snags to the left and right, turning double plays that no one at his age makes. But he sobbed on. It broke my heart.
I have to take responsibility for it. I don't know how I did it, but I made it so important to win that my 8 year old doesn't know how to lose. I've always tried to be supportive with the good and the bad. I'm not typically a yeller - certainly not at my ball players. I just didn't see it coming.
Anyway, not a great game. He's fine now and really was better within an hour after the game. Kids bounce back that way. We went to batting practice today and he wanted to stop on the way home and play catch - and we did. Just me and Jacob, playing catch at the park. This was my son, the happy, go-lucky kid. Hopefully we can bring this to the games and still win a few games.
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